April Fools’ Day sort of turned into “Dunkin’ Day” in the Bay State on Monday.
From a Massachusetts state senator calling for “An Act banning Starbucks” to the Canton-based coffee giant announcing another name change, Dunkin’ reigned supreme on the internet yet again.
But let’s not forget about Market Basket, which announced “#MoreForYourDollar Weddings” in your favorite supermarket aisle — which many shoppers would probably actually consider for their wedding day.
Quincy Sen. John Keenan got people laughing on social media on Monday when he posted a video about the importance of Dunkin’ for the region, calling for the banishment of Starbucks
“We all know that America runs on Dunkin’, and Massachusetts is no exception,” Keenan said in the video.
He noted that Quincy, the City of Presidents, is where the very first Dunkin’ location opened.
In the video, a caption next to a picture of Quincy native President John Adams says he was a “two cream, one sugar kind of guy.”
“I see it as my sworn duty to promote this important part of our collective history,” the state senator said. “That’s why I’m filing legislation to ban all Starbucks.”
” ‘An Act banning Starbucks… or else’ will require all Starbucks locations within the Commonwealth to cease operations, as well as prohibit the sale of all Starbucks products,” he added. “Store locations will have a period of 6 months to surrender their beans, and there will be a ban on Cakepops that will go into effect immediately.”
With a nod to the Boston Tea Party, Keenan said the state will dispose of all Starbucks’ “contraband” in the Boston Harbor this December.
Under the legislation, Keenan said the state’s motto would also change to “Fac Tempus Doughnutius” to “recognize our Commonwealth’s dedication to hard work.”
Calling on all #DunKings and #DunQueens to help us pass An Act banning Starbucks… or else. Massachusetts runs on @dunkindonuts #MAPoli pic.twitter.com/NpnwH6sLsC
— John F. Keenan (@SenJohnFKeenan) April 1, 2024
Meanwhile on April Fools’ Day, Dunkin’ said it was changing its name, again.
“now we’re just DONUTS’. we will have coffee still,” Dunkin’ posted on social media. “pls don’t ask any other questions. just going thru it rn.”
“America Runs on the DONUTS,” its social media account reads.
Also on April Fools’ Day, Market Basket told shoppers to save the date.
“Coming soon to a Market Basket near you: #MoreForYourDollar Weddings,” Market Basket posted.
“Walk down the aisle in your favorite aisle,” MB added. “You’ll exchange vows with your loved one in an intimate ceremony, then guests will enjoy a Market’s Kitchen dinner and Bakery cake at the reception.”
Also in Amesbury, the police department joked that it was buying a $604,000 Lamborghini for its fleet of patrol cars.
“Recently citizens voiced concerns on social media about APD’s purchase of a Ford pickup truck,” Amesbury Police posted. “Chief Bailey echoed their concerns and said ‘pickups in New England just don’t make sense, have you seen the crazy drivas out there, how the heck are we supposed to catch criminals in a truck, I mean….where do we put them? Not to mention in the Lambo, we’ll be able to catch way more speedahs!’ ”
Taste of Massachusetts also on April Fools’ Day posted that Boston is banning influencers and cameras in restaurants.
“A new ordinance starting today, passed by the Boston City Council designs to ban Influencers, cameras and all photography during hours restaurant are open to the public,” Taste of Massachusetts wrote. “The move is designed to make the dining experience in Boston more pleasant and attract more diners.”
